Halloween Poetry Festival 2003


An acquisitive trollop named Claire
Trolled for lusty young men at the fair.
But she fell in a swoon,
At the rise of the moon

For the "wolf" she'd picked up was a "were-"!

Said sweet Clair, "If you mean to impress
Then quit slobbering, sir, on my dress!
This relationship bites
And a girl has her rights.
Keep your paws to yourself. You're a mess!"

Said the old-fashioned werewolf to Clair,
"Now, dear, this is really not fair.
You're a cold dominatrix
Like that dame in 'The Matrix'.
You at least could let go of my hair."

Said Clair to the wolfman contrite,
"Your bark is much worse than your bite."
Now he grovels and begs
With his tail 'tween his legs,
And slinks off to howl in the night.

            -Steve Argyle (1st verse 10/23; 3rd & 4th verse 10/31/03), Dale Neibaur (2nd verse 10/24/03)


The night before the spooks come out
snow is falling despite the drought.
So when you transform,
be sure to dress warm
or you may freeze beyond a doubt!

            -Michelle, 10/30/03


Holly sent in two limericks!  I guess someone wrote and let her know we were at it again.  She titled the page "Missionary Halloween Limericks" with the subnote "(-: It's the best I could do :-)"  This is definitely a new twist on our theme!

There once was a new missionary
Who wished to dress as a canary
So she searched high and low
For some feathers 'to go'
'Til her comp said "Come on sis, don't tarry!"

And so out into town went Sis. Mandy
Walking prim with her scriptures held handy
On each door she would knock
And when she tried to talk
She was handed a fistful of candy!

            -Holly Neibaur, 10/23/03


Erik handed me a sheet of poems last night.  They really made me grin!  This is his first entry into our fun & games.  Hope you enjoy them!

Halloween is a busy season
When all the adults groan
They have to do things beyond reason
To stop their kids from moans
And when they get rid of stress
They still have kids to dress!

We all watch the Halloween season
And with great anticipation and care
As we watch the little kiddies
Get just a little giddy
About what they are going to wear!

Ghouls and goblins dance
Noisily around a fire
All of them dressed up
As a make-up Lizzy Maguire!

Little kids knocking
You find nowhere to hide
So you run around town
Dressed up as a clown
So for the little ones provide!

Halloween is a scary night
But not as scary when
All the kids from last year
Are at your doorstep yet again!

            -Erik Neibaur, 10/28/03


Halloween is a Little Like Christmas

Halloween is a little like Christmas,
With only a few differences involved.
Instead of hanging stockings, we hang a little head.
Instead of mailing postcards, we mail pumpkins instead.
Instead of Santa and elves, you see vampires and goblins.
Instead of getting presents, you get candy.
And on Halloween we dress as odd things, but on Christmas
Almost everyone has a Santa hat!
Halloween is a little like Christmas
But only in some ways.

            -Erik Neibaur, 10/28/03

[A fun fact:  Halloween is exactly like Christmas for mathematicians!  Halloween is October 31.  Christmas is December 25.  October is the old "eighth month" (hence the "oct", just like octal), while December is the old "tenth month" (with the "dec" meaning ten, just like decimal).  And an "octal" 31 is three eights and a one.  Which is 24 + 1, or 25 in "decimal" notation!  Isaac Asimov wrote a delightful short mystery whose solution hinged on this odd relationship.]


A suave, handsome Frenchman named Lou,
Drew women in droves, it is true.
While appearing well-bred,
He was really well-fed,
For the man was, in fact, loup garou.

            -Steve Argyle, 10/23/03


A group of mages sit around
To conquer new worlds they are bound
Grim threats are all borne
Crop circles flatten corn
Paradox magic waits to be found

            -Alicia Dean, 10/23/03


New moon floats across stars
Ghosts moan by graves afar
Ghouls meet with vamps
They start to dance
Leave blood, black pavement char

            -Alicia Dean, 10/23/03


Orange pumpkins ignite, so they seem
White skeletons smile as they teem
Black mewling cats
Yellow fangs of bats
The colors of Halloween gleam

            -Alicia Dean, 10/23/03


The leaves are blowing up the street
like tiny skeletons indiscreet.
They remind us of Fall
and Winter's cold crawl,
but for now we'll dress up and eat sweets!

            -Michelle, 10/10/03


The first three limericks were composed on Sunday evening as we sat reminiscing after Holly's 'not a missionary farewell' sacrament meeting.

It's Time

Noisy common room was athrong
The cry was being passed along
"Without good reason
This Halloween season
All submit limericks anon!"

            -Alicia Dean, 9/28/03


Choose Wisely

There is a great dragon named Smaug
Whose face sets grim warriors agog
He eats like a cow
That's why I know now
Bilbo should have just bought a dog

            -Shawn Neibaur, 9/28/03


Eye on the Ball

I met an old zombie while strolling
who left me practically rolling
Because he was dead
He could take off his head
and then he was ready for bowling

            -Adam Argyle, 9/28/03