New Year's Resolution

by Matthew Smith

December 18, 1951

Dear Sir:

For many years, I have been sorely troubled by the overly complicated ways in which many of our everyday words are spelled. Accordingly, I would like to outline below a ten year program which I believe would eliminate easily and painlessly the complexities of our modern methods of spelling. Any efforts on your part to promote the adoption of this system will be appreciated.

The year 1952 would be devoted to the successful elimination of the soft "c", which is obviously replaseable by "s". Likewise, in 1953, all other "c's" would become "k's". Thus, we sertainly would have no further konsern with this konsonant. However, sinse it would still be found on all typewriter keyboards, we would use it as a replasement for ce bocersome "th". Cis would okkur in 1954.

Next, ce suffix "ing" would be attakked. Cis problem would be solved by removig ce exsess "n". 1955 will be suffisiently long for akkomplishig cis khange.

Sertainly you are beginnig to see ce progress we are makig. 1956 would se ce end of al double konsonants, long nocig but exses bagage. Now, cese cigs are realy shapig up! 1957 would be haled as ce yer to remove unesesary dubled vowels. Onse agan, words bekome simpler. In 1958, cos anoyig final "e's" wuld disaper. Anocer step to esy, efortles spelig.

C last cre yers wuld ad c finishig tukhes. In 1959, al "y's" wuld giv wai to "i's" and in 1960 cis sam "y" wuld tak c plas of "sh". Finali, in 1961, al "ph's" and "gh's" wuld bekom "f's".

Cer iu hav it. Ten yort iers and evericig is rift. Spelig is somecig to b lafed at. A khild kan now us an alfabet unklutered wic exses leters. Welkom to C brift ag of komplet konkord on c mater of korekt spelig!

Sinsereli iurs,

Macew Smic

Wayigton, D.C.