A Chemical Analysis of Women
origin unknown
Symbol
WOW -- Thought to be a member of the human race.
Atomic Weight
Accepted as 120, but known to exist in isotopes from 75 to 250.
Physical Properties
Normally occurs in all colors. Surface usually covered with a thin film of
paint, or oxide. Boils at nothing and freezes without reason.
Unpolished specimens tend to turn green in the presence of highly polished ones.
All varieties melt with proper treatment.
Chemical Properties
Highly explosive and dangerous in inexperienced hands. Extremely active in
the presence of man. Possesses great affinity for gold, silver, and
precious stones. Has the ability to absorb great quantities of the most
expensive food. May explode spontaneously any time. Activity is
greatly increased when saturated by a spirit solution. Sometimes yields to
pressure. Fresh variety has great magnetic attraction.
Uses
Chiefly ornamental. Effective cleaning agent. Acts as a positive or
negative catalyst in the production of fevers. Probably the most powerful
reducing agent known to bank accounts.
Termed
Essential element for survival and pleasure of man.