Snoozing Sweetie

by Harold Grebunski (Dale Neibaur), 1973

Several centuries ago a silly snippet of a princess incensed her sorceress stepmother with her spectacular sightliness. Said stepmother strongly sought to seem the sightliest strumpet on the scene, so she spun a spell to snare her scintillating stepdaughter. Sad to say, she stirred in so much secret sleeping dust and strychnine that she soon sent the whole spectrum of staff and stock to sleep. A sepulchral stillness settled over the chateau, and several seasons passed. Some seemly princes, sighing sadly over the slumbering princess and seeking to secure her as a spouse, sought to stir her from her spellbound snoozing. But scores of sword-sharp spiny thistles had sprung up to surround the silent settlement, and soon as some senseless stranger stumbled into them, several sticky spears sliced him to salami strips.

So for a century snoozing sweetie softly snored. She'd sleep still, 'cept a smart prince seared the stinging thistles and so secured the chateau. He slipped a swift one on her smacker, and she, startled from sleep, slapped him soundly. Servants and stock all snapped from spellbound slumber at the shocking sound. "Sir," said she, "such scenes are scarcely suitable for a civilized princess." And she and her servants sent the prince swiftly scampering, which simply shows snoozing sweeties are seldom as stupid as they seem.

[I think this was another one created for Mrs. Beattie, though I'm not positive. That lady had to put up with a lot!]